Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
