he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
