He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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