Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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