i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There r osticjed everywhere
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
