her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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