I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need a beard to bite.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
