yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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