Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
