I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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