Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
