you win again, gameday.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
