My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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