I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
