i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize