The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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