Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
