Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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