You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize