sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had sex on a roof
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize