Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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