Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
