She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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