She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
ttyl tear gas
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
