wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
