Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
