While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
