chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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