Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
