That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
