i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
