just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize