Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
