Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He passed out mid-signature
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
