You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
