69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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