Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize