To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
BRING THE BAGELS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
