i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
