I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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