Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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