hotel room ftw
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
