sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
