i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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