Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
