I hope mine doesn't look like that
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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