I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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