Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
