cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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