I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
