A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize