Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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