What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my being single is dangerous.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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