do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
