i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
