Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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