I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
