I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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