My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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